Saturday, January 24, 2009
Disconnected.
She closes the door on everyone else and watches the rest of the world go on without her. She then begins to search for something to fill in the void deep inside of her, but is unable to figure out exactly what that would be. She is reexamining each friendship and relationship she has, and then goes on to reexamine her own purpose in this world. Troubled, frustrated, and pensive, she violently grabs a pen, hopelessly wishing it would turn into a sharp object she could use to puncture herself so all of these lingering thoughts of worthlessness can bleed out from her, seeping into the ground to never be seen, heard or thought of again. But the pen doesn't change form no matter hard she convinces herself it would, so she buries herself in her pillow and hopes the pain would go away in the form of tears. The big monster has awoken inside of her once again, whispering sinister words into her mind about herself and the people around her. Consequently, she disconnects herself, letting herself become consumed by this vicious monster. "All your doubts are true," it sneers, "Let them flourish."
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Today.
Today is January 20, 2009, 5:22pm. It is currently 29 degrees Farenheit, with snowflakes powdering the day old snow on the grounds of Tuft University. Today is a new day. A beautiful new day. Today was the day Barack Obama was sworn into office as the 44th President of the United States of America as the first African American President in history. And I am proud to say that I have witnessed this moment, even though I was watching it from a projector screen in my Intro Psychology Class. Location, however, didn't matter. It was the moment, the words, and the whole thought that this is actually happening that has given me and everyone around me an electrifying feeling inside.
To be honest, I never really have been politically active until now. I had no interest in politics whatsoever because I thought all politicians had the same agenda. Same old stories, same old campaigns. Same old promises that are hardly ever kept, and the same old people who end up winning office. I didn't have any hope in any sort of change in this country--I thought we would just continue chugging along in the same state of uncertainty, distrust, and pessimism. But this election, this election was different. Barack Obama was definitely a different kind of candidate. I have never felt so inspired and moved by a politician; nor have I ever had goosebumps on my arms when listening to a politician until Barack Obama came along. He was finally someone that I felt I could connect to, someone I could trust. He made me feel like I can feel hopeful and safe in this country once again. He was like a breath of fresh air to a country in need of rejuvenation.
My parents (more particularly, my dad) were probably one reason why I avoided politics. They had this very cynical, conservative, and pessimistic mindset to everything. My father was a strong republican--he believed that no promises can be kept, that change is impossible and would never happen. He despised Obama's whole campaign of change, calling him a person of false dreams and that his words were just bullshit. He had all these stupid, ignorant reasons as to why Obama shouldn't be elected--like emphasizing Obama's connection to the anti-patriotic preachings of Reverend Wright, the fact that his middle name is Hussein and the fact that he has "Muslim blood". My mother would agree with everything my dad would say, and reiterate that her co-workers at the VA Hospital (who were republican War veterans) also denounced Obama. Every time this subject of politics was brought up, I would brace myself for all the false and narrow-minded claims my father would make about Barack Obama. Perhaps the most horrible thing he has ever said about Obama was that if he were to be elected, he would become some sort of tyrannical Anti-American terrorist and overthrow the government. "Would you want THAT to be our country's leader?" He sneered.
I don't understand how my father can be so influenced by this negative portrayal of Barack Obama by the media. How can he NOT see through these false things that have obviously been blown out of proportion? How can he NOT see the same thing I see in Barack Obama--that sense of hope, confidence and security?
After Obama won the election, he slightly backed down from his previous claims, but still kept that pessimistic, skeptical outlook on what our country would be. He even made note of how there were no Asian Americans that were hired in his cabinet--speculating that it was because Obama did not have a good experience when living in Indonesia, thus forming some sort of hatred against Asians. Where the fuck did THAT come from? Where in the world would he get that idea? How can he distort the facts in a way that he thinks Obama is discriminatory? "We'll see," my dad would then conclude, "We'll see where this goes. He's full of promises that he can't keep."
And throughout this whole time, anger and frustration is boiling up inside of me. But then again, I try to put myself in my parents' shoes. They have been raised in a different country, in a different time, and have had different experiences than what I've had. My dad has lived a rougher life than I have, so maybe that would explain the motives behind his reasonings and beliefs. And that is why I have never challenged him. But I also never agreed with him. I don't let his beliefs and opinions phase me/influence me anymore, because I am capable of forming my own beliefs and opinions.
This is getting longer than I thought it would be. I will end on this note--I would rather accept this feeling of hope and the fact that change has finally come, rather than sulk around and cynically deny it.
Thank you, President Obama, for helping me believe again.
To be honest, I never really have been politically active until now. I had no interest in politics whatsoever because I thought all politicians had the same agenda. Same old stories, same old campaigns. Same old promises that are hardly ever kept, and the same old people who end up winning office. I didn't have any hope in any sort of change in this country--I thought we would just continue chugging along in the same state of uncertainty, distrust, and pessimism. But this election, this election was different. Barack Obama was definitely a different kind of candidate. I have never felt so inspired and moved by a politician; nor have I ever had goosebumps on my arms when listening to a politician until Barack Obama came along. He was finally someone that I felt I could connect to, someone I could trust. He made me feel like I can feel hopeful and safe in this country once again. He was like a breath of fresh air to a country in need of rejuvenation.
My parents (more particularly, my dad) were probably one reason why I avoided politics. They had this very cynical, conservative, and pessimistic mindset to everything. My father was a strong republican--he believed that no promises can be kept, that change is impossible and would never happen. He despised Obama's whole campaign of change, calling him a person of false dreams and that his words were just bullshit. He had all these stupid, ignorant reasons as to why Obama shouldn't be elected--like emphasizing Obama's connection to the anti-patriotic preachings of Reverend Wright, the fact that his middle name is Hussein and the fact that he has "Muslim blood". My mother would agree with everything my dad would say, and reiterate that her co-workers at the VA Hospital (who were republican War veterans) also denounced Obama. Every time this subject of politics was brought up, I would brace myself for all the false and narrow-minded claims my father would make about Barack Obama. Perhaps the most horrible thing he has ever said about Obama was that if he were to be elected, he would become some sort of tyrannical Anti-American terrorist and overthrow the government. "Would you want THAT to be our country's leader?" He sneered.
I don't understand how my father can be so influenced by this negative portrayal of Barack Obama by the media. How can he NOT see through these false things that have obviously been blown out of proportion? How can he NOT see the same thing I see in Barack Obama--that sense of hope, confidence and security?
After Obama won the election, he slightly backed down from his previous claims, but still kept that pessimistic, skeptical outlook on what our country would be. He even made note of how there were no Asian Americans that were hired in his cabinet--speculating that it was because Obama did not have a good experience when living in Indonesia, thus forming some sort of hatred against Asians. Where the fuck did THAT come from? Where in the world would he get that idea? How can he distort the facts in a way that he thinks Obama is discriminatory? "We'll see," my dad would then conclude, "We'll see where this goes. He's full of promises that he can't keep."
And throughout this whole time, anger and frustration is boiling up inside of me. But then again, I try to put myself in my parents' shoes. They have been raised in a different country, in a different time, and have had different experiences than what I've had. My dad has lived a rougher life than I have, so maybe that would explain the motives behind his reasonings and beliefs. And that is why I have never challenged him. But I also never agreed with him. I don't let his beliefs and opinions phase me/influence me anymore, because I am capable of forming my own beliefs and opinions.
This is getting longer than I thought it would be. I will end on this note--I would rather accept this feeling of hope and the fact that change has finally come, rather than sulk around and cynically deny it.
Thank you, President Obama, for helping me believe again.
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